The first day of winter; the leaving of the year
And now, more than ever, I feel my mortality;
My body aches, and my heart misses
The reassuring presence of you.
I am a half-person
And this, my half-life.
The day sets, edgy, with the promise of storms
Yet here, surrounded with white roses,
I acknowledge my loneliness
Fend off the night-time thoughts
The fear of you not-wanting.
I long to tell you the depth of my love,
But hesitate, hold back
For fear of chasing you away.
And I am so, so grateful for the tenuous chance
That brought us together;
For the giant of a man you have become
And for the knowledge that you hold me
In your heart.
So this is some kind of requiem
For the girl so sad for so long.
I shed these tears now
Not for grief, nor loneliness,
But for gratitude, and wonder
At this late-found love.